How to have an interesting cup of coffee ?

Though I am not an expert or anything on the subject in perusal, I thought I will do this for the humour of it.
Please recite with me:
“All characters in this chat are fictious and does not resemble anybody or anything in the real world”.”Any such, is just pure coincidence”

This blog is not going to help you get the next date, neither is it going to tell you how “women are from Malls, Men are from ESPN” or “how to make a good cup of coffee”. I dont believe any book can help you in this regard, worse still, this blog.

Read it up. If you laugh, leave a comment. If you didnt, then try writing one to see how difficult it is to create original humour.

The guy/babe has just had a “hi, hi.asl?, asl?” conversation the day before. This is the morning of the day after “day before”. The babe has just walked by the guy’s cube.Guy is a Software engineer with a growing pot belly.Girl works with him in the same company.The company is really sad why they recruited them both. ( And because no one person is “company”, nobody says that to them )Guy and Girl are in a city , somewhere far away in Southern India.

Note: All underscored words must be substituted with whatever is convienient for you.
Scene 1 and only one:

Guy: Hi
Babe: hey
Guy: I was gonna give u a smile…U put up a frowning face, looked at the other end and went away
Babe: am so sorry. i dont even know who u are
Guy: No problemo..
Babe: sorry
Guy: I wanted to say ” How much do u want to know to smile back” , but then I am not saying it coz ” I dont know much about u either “
Babe: hehe
Guy(Though knowing the location from yesterday’s hi_Hi_asl?_asl? chat): So are you from an_ultra_funky_city_here ?
Babe: just went out for a smoke aaj kal ki Women!!
Babe: No..am from a_lesser_funky_city_here
Guy: So are you age_between_15_and_17_here ?
Babe: haha
Guy: ( Sorry I am talking about age with a girl )
Babe: am not one of those to make a fuss about my age!!! so its cool Really ?
Guy: then u must be 35 or something :_p
(Babe Laughs)
Guy: A long time ago. Just to give the readers some backgroud?
Guy: I was talking to guy_who_knows_all_girls about the lack of enthusiasm ( Read good looking girls ) at work
Guy: and he promised me he will hire someone
Babe: hehe
Babe: trust guy_who_knows_all_girls to come up with that
Guy: and this time, when I met him in a_bay_area_city_here , he was like “Dude, u must get back to an_indian_city_with_lotsa_computers soon “
Babe: hahahah.. i complained about the same thing to him.. no hot guys around!!
Guy: Really ? That is sad…Though I dont worry about that part too much
Babe(Trying to make sure that Guy knows she hasnt give a damn about him yet): u sit next to that guy who shaved his beard off right Hopefully babe means the beard
Guy: yeah…I mean, though there are lodsa guys who seem to b clean shaven today ( including me ), yes, I sit next to a_linux_geek_from_iit
Babe: yeah! well his was pretty noticeable.. like i was wondering whoz the new guy!!
Babe: zip it!! Not a word to him Take the hint. This stuff is a potential Coffee day Candidate. How? In a bit
Guy: Oh I just told him about it and he is already blushing
Babe: hahahaha
Guy: how cud u laugh at such serious information ?
Babe: its funny!
Guy: Did u check up that he is not here next to me ?
Babe: No no i didnt
Guy: Ok, then lemme continue with the blackmail…Forget I told u He is not here now Can you see something shaping up?
Babe: oh so he isnt there #:-S Obviously, you knew this was coming
Babe: how was ur week end ?
Guy(The gizmo guy that he is ): My weekend was not very happening…All I did was to be glued with the computer and ipod ( as always )
Guy: oh ya, I did see this movie called a_not_so_boring_indian_english_movie
Babe: oh really????
Guy: and how was urs ?
Babe: we were just planning to go for it
Babe: mine was good.. was at a_smoke_filled_crowded_discotheque on saturday nite
Guy: Who is “we” ? Am I missing more good looking women around ?
Babe: oh! i hardly have any girl friends
Babe: so u aint missing anything!
Guy: So, how was a_smoke_filled_crowded_discotheque ? had a good time
Babe: got smashed.. and then it hardly matters where i am.. I have a good time anyway
Guy: is it with all girls from a_lesser_funky_city or is it just u ? ( I am going to the_lesser_funky_city quickly ) :
Guy:
Babe: most of the girls i would say
Babe: u sure will have a lot of eye candy there
Babe: on the beaches! May your lesser_funky_city have a couple of beaches
Guy: I had quite a bit along the beaches of a_bay_area_city…and I am not out of that still…
Guy: But yes, I have heard lodsa stories about the beauty of a_lesser_funky_city
Babe: oh man! i can just imagine! how long were u there for ?
Guy: this time for about month and 10 days
Guy: Pretty good place…but can get boring
Babe: alone?
Guy: not alone…But yes, I had like four married men and one married woman in the trip…It was pretty much like being alone
Guy(Trying to reassure that he is a fun loving person): It was like, my fun started where their’s ended.
Babe: aww.. sad
Guy: We used to have something like a band in a_work_place! I dont know if a guitar can make a musician out of you, but, as you can see, it definitely worth buying one and strumming a bit!
Guy: We used to play quite often a long time ago.
Babe: oh shit u serious! Ofcourse he isint
Guy: and when guy_who_knows_all_girls was here for the first time, I saw a guitar at his place…
Babe: thats awesome! damn i missed the fun!
Guy: and thatz how I got talking with him
Babe: yeah i heard hez brilliant
Babe: do u play the guitar too??
Babe: or sing?
Guy( Just to ensure that babe doesnt ask guy to play something for her the next day): yeah..but thatz really long time ago…a year and a half ago..Even I dont remember what we played
Guy: both…
Babe: wow!! Am impressed now ! Didnt I tell you guitar helps?
Babe: like seriously! Ok, I told you
Guy(Modestly): I sing because nobody else could…and I guitar because I can !
Babe: hahah!
Guy: It depends on how u define serious….I sing/play only when I want to
Babe: very modest i must say
Guy: and I mostly do it for my own fun…I have no ideas of forming a band and playing all over the world
Guy(Shamelessly): No modesty.. not at all
Babe: i have to hear u atleast once
Guy: My pleasure..Will get the guitar sometime and we can jam
Guy: Do u sing ? Naturally, you would ask that, wont you ?
Babe: sure!! i love singing
Babe: and its always been a dream to learn the guitar
Guy: great! Then , lets revive the band once again…
Babe: sure!!!
Guy(Trying to get to work soon): Learning the basics of guitar is fairly simple…I can teach u rite away
Babe: oh awesome!!!!!!!!!!
Guy: U dont have to keep it a dream for too long Mission almost Accomplished, time to change topics
Guy: the clean shaven fellow is here now..Should I go ahead and tell him about it ? Follow carefully, If you didnt taken the hint already
Guy: and what do I get to keep :-$ ?
Babe: name it and u have it
Guy: that simple ?
Guy: Are u sure ? Think twice…I am bad guy
Babe: yeah
Guy: Oh, u were supposed to get scandalized
Babe: =))
Babe: yeah right
Guy: anyways, Do u think it is too early to ask you out for a cuppa coffee sometime ? Note the tone here. Anything harder in essence, you are bound go back to your 2 rupee coffee shop all alone, once again
Babe: very subtle i must say Good, Looks like Guy didnt screw it up
Guy: but whatz the answer ? You can either say “No” or you can say “No” Oruvarrr ( A separate blog on what oruvarr is, later
Babe: =))
Babe: sure why not.. Mission Complete
Babe: we’ll do coffeee sometime
Guy: and thatz for keeping :-$
Babe: u got it